#WhyIStayed: A Lesson In Empathy [OPINION]

This post originally appeared on September 11, 2014 written by Aisha Springer.

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Domestic violence is incredibly common. The statistics are staggering: In the U.S. one in four women experiences domestic violence in her lifetime. Internationally, domestic violence kills more people than war. Yet domestic violence and violence against women is generally misunderstood and mischaracterized by individuals and the media, focusing on victim-blaming and excuse-making. Depictions of domestic violence are sensationalized, rationalized, and ignore the reality of victims’ experiences. It’s no different even when celebrities are involved. Cue the Ray Rice conversation.

When reports came out that Baltimore Ravens former running back Ray Rice punched his then-fiancee, Janay Rice in an Atlantic City casino elevator, knocking her unconscious, an overwhelming response from the public and the NFL was to ask what she did to provoke him; too often the first question raised when a woman is abused.

Feminist Twitter, particularly female football fans, responded with outrage over Rice’s actions, the Ravens’ subsequent press conference, and the NFL’s uneven punishment for domestic violence and sexual offenders as opposed to drug abusers.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and other officials jointly questioned the couple about what happened, then scheduled a press conference where the Ravens live-tweeted her apology for the “role that she played the night of the incident.” Ray Rice, on the other hand, received a standing ovation from Ravens fans, citing “my trials and tribulations” and “everything I went through” throughout his response. To some observers, evidence that the the couple later got married meant that Janay Rice did, in fact, deserve at least some blame.

This past Monday morning, TMZ released the full security camera video of the assault. Almost immediately, the NFL suspended Rice indefinitely.

Many NFL fans on Twitter have noted this video contains no new information, and terminating Ray Rice after its release was a blatant attempt to save face. It didn’t work. It’s clear at this point that the NFL not only grossly mishandled the case, but merely continued its record as a massive profit-making, image-conscious institution that has a record of condoning DV.

It’s Not Just Ray Rice: @EdgeofSports on the NFL’s History of Condoning Domestic Abuse http://t.co/hbjyFPAQIO

— Democracy Now! (@democracynow) September 9, 2014

Those who question Janay Rice’s apology during the joint press conference don’t take into consideration the binding circumstances. Rice was interviewed publicly, in front of her abuser, all while her abuser’s career hung in the balance; solely dependent upon her corroboration of the mutual blame story.

Now that the video of her assault has been shared with the world without her consent, she’s had to relive that traumatic night in Atlantic City. Public ‘proof’ or visual evidence of abuse is usually what’s required for a victim of domestic violence to receive any trace of justice. In this case, so-called ‘justice’ came as a result of PR acumen to preserve the NFL’s image.

Tuesday morning, Janay Rice responded via her private Instagram account to the video release and the decision of indefinite suspension.

Given the circumstances, it is counterproductive to judge and condemn Janay Rice’s life choices. But while the public should respect her decisions as hers to make, advocates should also continue to speak out against lenient punishments for domestic abuse and educate people about why it’s so difficult for victims to leave.

Enter, #WhyIStayed.

I had to plan my escape for months before I even had a place to go and money for the bus to get there. #WhyIStayed

— Beverly Gooden (@bevtgooden) September 8, 2014

The lack of concern for Janay Rice spawned the hashtags #WhyIStayed, #WhyILeft, and #WhenILeft. Blogger Beverly Gooden started this Twitter conversation to address the fact that even after the disturbing video was released, some people were apathetic towards Janay Rice while others continued to blame her.

Read Beverly Gooden’s reasons for starting #WhyIStayed on her blog and in the Washington Post.

Because I had no where else to go. #WhyIStayed

— Christiauna Marie (@CrankstaWho) September 9, 2014

#whyistayed I wasn't up to the probable custody battle. #WhyILeft My daughter was finally old enough. Marriage should never be mandatory.

— Kim Cowan (@kim0512) September 9, 2014

20+ cops responded, but he was back inside before I finished packing – less than an hour later #WhyIStayed

— H.Rights vs Stalkers (@stalkingviolate) September 9, 2014

As all of these women can attest, there are many valid reasons why victims stay, including psychological, emotional, cultural, legal, and economic reasons. Perpetuating the notion that the responsibility is on victims to stop or prevent violence, paired with inadequate institutional responses is what makes DV stigmatized and often deadly.

Women who leave are less likely to be abused but they are abt 8 times more likely to be killed if they leave. #WhyIStayed #WhenILeft

— Brittney Cooper (@ProfessorCrunk) September 9, 2014

#WhyIStayed Because I lived with abuse from before I was born, was taught a woman's place through words and examples in my house as a kid.

— Theresa Summa (@theresaanna) September 9, 2014

Because good church girls persevere and overcome. #whyistayed

— Akoua Deloire (@AfroIvoire) September 9, 2014

It's not one day he hits you, it's everyday he works hard to make you smaller. #WhyIStayed

— Elizabeth Plank (@feministabulous) September 9, 2014

After you read Janay Palmer's Instagram post, please read this chart before passing judgment on her words & actions. pic.twitter.com/Wn2qYBtTvF

— Wendy Thurm (@hangingsliders) September 9, 2014

Why would a person stay in an abusive relationship? @ndvh has discussed a lot of reasons http://t.co/DV9SlhSGs3 #WhyIStayed

— NOMORE.org (@NOMOREorg) September 9, 2014

Women who are victims of DV often feel they are on their own and no one will believe or support their stories; these beliefs are not entirely unfounded. Laws like nuisance ordinances reinforce a belief of hopelessness, and further enable abusers to isolate and control their victims.

A recent victory over nuisance ordinances in a Pennsylvania town may indicate progress, but that’s only one town among many. We need more policy victories like these along with a change in cultural perception.

That’s what make hashtags like #WhyIStayed so significant. Social media highlighted stories of DV in front of millions of people, and American institutions like the NFL can now be widely held to account for their blatant attempts to cover up violence against women.

We can’t afford to continue ignoring domestic violence. With victims’ and advocates’ voices amplified, ignorance will no longer be an excuse and apathy will no longer be tolerated.

If the #WhyIStayed tweets and the statement from Janay Rice don't show you what domestic violence does to women, you don't WANT to get it.

— RICHELLE CAREY (@RichelleCarey) September 9, 2014

Call for Contributors: Ferguson, Social Media, and Activism

This call for contributors originally appeared during the summer of 2014. Tara L. Conley posted the call a few days after the fatal shooting of Michael Brown by police officer Darren Wilson on August 9, 2014. This was also a tipping point moment in the era of Black Lives Matter.

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Hashtag Feminism invites contributions that provide insightful perspectives on the recent events transpiring in Ferguson, Missouri. Specifically, we are looking for perspectives that account for the ways social media, namely Twitter has played a role in igniting activism in Ferguson and across the country.

Topics may include (but are not limited to):

• The disconnect between Facebook and Twitter and how people talking about Michael Brown and Ferguson. This may also highlight a discussion on the different ways Facebook’s and Twitter’s algorithms are capturing conversations across social media. See this Medium piece as a useful example or starting point.

• Criticism of ‘Twitter Activism’ and response from Black feminists.

• Resource roundup of follow-worthy hashtags, livestreams, and Twitter users covering and editorializing the events happening in Ferguson.

• Activists story telling about their experiences organizing around Ferguson online and offline.

• Youth organizers using Twitter to organize, raise awareness, and resist during the aftermath of the fatal shooting of Michael Brown.

Please refer to #F Submission Guidelines for further information about style, content, and pitch guidelines.

We look forward to hearing from you!

#YouOkSis Challenges Street Harassment, Starts a Movement

This post originally appeared on August 11, 2014 co-authored by Aisha Springer and Kelly Ehrenreich. It’s one of the first published posts documenting the impact of the #YouOkSis hashtag that sparked a movement bringing awareness to street harassment faced by women of color.

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Last week, two major media outlets – Huffington Post and Buzzfeed – tweeted projects centered around street harassment. HuffPo Photo released a series of pictures of their female editors holding pieces of paper with things men had said to them on the street. HuffPo encouraged other women to tweet using the hashtag #ThatsWhatHeSaid to share their own street harassment stories. Buzzfeed video released a Youtube clip on Thursday called “What Men Are Really Saying When They Catcall Women”.

At the same time, the #YouOKSis conversation is still going strong. Blogger and social worker, @FeministaJones, started a Twitter conversation in June to bring attention to street harassment, particularly highlighting how street harassment uniquely affects black women, whose voices are often ignored within the feminist community and within the black community on issues of gender.

Feminista Jones explains in an interview that the #YouOKSis hashtag is based on an experience she had in her neighborhood. She witnessed a man harass a young woman pushing a stroller; she decided to intervene and asked the woman, “You OK Sis?” It was a simple question rarely asked in these situations. But something this simple from a stranger can help to restore a sense of security to the victim and let the harasser know that what he did will not go unnoticed.

Feminista Jones tweeted this experience – detailed in a Storify – and @BlackGirlDanger responded. A trend began:

#YouOKSis has created constructive dialogue as well as controversy on Twitter and beyond, and it is still active two months later. Like the conversation around the UC Santa Barbara Shooting – #YesAllWomen and the subsequent #AllMenCan we wrote about months ago – #YouOKSis seeks to shine light women’s experiences and encourages bystanders to step in to #StopStreetHarassment.

In 2014, 65% of women reported experiencing street harassment, often multiple times a day. It happens regardless of how much or little clothing a woman is wearing and it affects her ability to exist in public space with a reasonable sense of safety and comfort. Women may avoid certain streets, blocks, or public transportation routes to spare themselves from the indignity of street harassment, though it’s impossible to avoid all the time. Even underage girls report being repeatedly harassed by strangers in public.

Street harassment is a regular part of women’s lives, but that can change with the help of campaigns like #YouOkSis. Street harassment isn’t anything new or unusual, yet this wave of online discussion has picked up steam in recent months, instigated by #YesAllWomen, diversified and strengthened by#YouOKSis, and then copied for a more mainstream and commercial audience with#ThatsWhatHeSaid.

Not surprisingly, #YouOkSis received pushback from some men on Twitter. Common responses were that women are trying to further criminalize black men, that street harassment is actually a compliment, and denial that street harassment even exists. Ironically, many women who participated in #YouOkSis were harassed by male Twitter users who were simultaneously trying to argue that women lie about being harassed. The heated opposition to #YouOkSis also overlooked the fact that women are harassed by men of all races. The hashtag was intended to let black women’s voices be heard, but it does not focus specifically on black men as the perpetrators.

For black women, street harassment and the response on social media brings up a unique set of tensions. Historically and to the present day, black women have been integral to the fight for racial justice, but their partnership often goes unrecognized. The effects of that come to the surface when talking about issues like street harassment. A common criticism shared by black feminists is that black men and women will rally for causes related to race and black men, but black men will not show the same level of support when the cause is one that affects black women specifically. As a result, fighting racism towards black men is considered more important than fighting racism and sexism that affects black women.

Part of the negative response can be attributed to the desire to keep these issues inside the black community. The problem is that if there is no discussion, there will be no solution. #YouOkSis has brought the discussion to the mainstream. Women are using the hashtag to support each other and demand a change. Such vehement opposition to addressing the problems that influence black women’s lives only perpetuates negative stereotypes of black men.

Huffington Post’s #ThatsWhatHeSaid efforts have been criticized for the title – which downplays the seriousness of women’s encounters with harassers – as well as for the lack of diversity and intersectionality that #YouOkSis uniquely provides. Though well-intended, it detracts from the more constructive and action-oriented #YouOkSis movement which seeks to end street harassment, not just share instances of harassment.

Feminista Jones wants to use the momentum created by #YouOkSis to push the movement against street harassment forward. She speaks and writes on the issue and plans to hold workshops, a perfect example of how Twitter activism can contribute to real-life action. Organizations like Stop Street Harassment and iHollaback! are already on this mission and helping to create awareness and take action in cities around the country. Through the #YouOkSis campaign and others like it, both men and women can choose to make the streets a safer and more respectful place for all women.

Hashtag Feminism Editor, Kelly Ehrenreich co-authored this post.

#HobbyLobby: Feminist Twitter Responds to Hobby Lobby Ruling

This post originally appeared on July 2, 2014 written by Aisha Springer.

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On the heels of a decision to overturn the law that guarantees “buffer zones” outside of women’s health centers, the Supreme Court has once again devalued women and their reproductive health choices. Monday’s 5-4 decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby states that commercial enterprises can cite religious belief as a reason to withhold contraception coverage from their employees. The exact implications of this ruling are still unclear – according to Vox, lower courts will determine if #HobbyLobby means for-profit corporations can opt-out of covering any type of birth control, or just IUDs and the morning after pill.

Though the strict legal interpretation is still being determined, the message SCOTUS sent about how little it values women’s health was perfectly clear and Feminist Twitter responded. Hundreds of thousands of tweets including #HobbyLobby, #SCOTUS, #JointheDissent, #DrHobbyLobby, and the familiar #NotMyBossBusiness, expressed outrage at the logic applied in the decision and shared examples of how having a boss who refuses to provide insurance coverage for these services will or did cause serious financial hardship.

Opponents are calling on the public to boycott Hobby Lobby, as well as other businesses and nonprofit organizations that wish to deny birth control coverage based on religious beliefs. We can also let Congress know that we expect it to correct this decision, which is within its power since the decision was based on interpretation of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA).

After #HobbyLobby, These 82 Corporations Could Drop Birth Control Coverage http://t.co/mUkfSkkscy

— Elizabeth Plank (@feministabulous) July 1, 2014

A little history: originally the Affordable Care Act stated that contraception is a preventive service that must be provided at no extra cost in every insurance plan, with a religious exemption for a small number of religion-based non-profit organizations. A little over a year ago, the Department of Health and Human services revised their definition of a Religious Employer Exemption to include a broader group of non-profit organizations, which women’s health advocates considered weak and unsupportive of basic healthcare needs of women.

Follow #HobbyLobby tweets in real time located on the right sidebar.

Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court extended those exemptions even further by ruling that these “closely held” for-profit corporations have the right to file for religious exemptions to the ACA’s contraception mandate. This decision allows employers to impose their religious beliefs on all of their employees, although time and time again women are the ones who are targeted for restrictions. Men’s health care services, such as vasectomies and Viagra, remain untouched and unquestioned. This is a blow to women’s equality and incredibly disheartening for anyone who believes that religion should not be used as an excuse to discriminate.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote the dissenting opinion in which she explains the many ways in which five of the six male justices got it wrong. She writes that, “accommodations to religious beliefs or observances, the Court has clarified, must not significantly impinge on the interests of third parties.” Her colleagues, on the other hand, believe that for-profit corporations should be accommodated regardless of the impact it will have on individuals.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg feels your #SCOTUS mansplaining pain. http://t.co/IsiZP5ndcG#HobbyLobby pic.twitter.com/mL6KBl6pXx

— Elizabeth Plank (@feministabulous) July 1, 2014

The individuals in this case are the thousands of women who work for these companies and their dependents. Women already disproportionately carry the financial burden of reproductive health care and face more barriers to receiving health care than men. After this ruling, it won’t be a surprise when more companies begin to claim religious exception and even more women and families pay the price. More women will lose the right to exercise control over their own reproductive decisions. And as we know from the massive impact the birth control pill has had since the 1960s, affordable access to contraception is directly related to women’s ability to be active participants in society.

For some time, we have had access to solid science on contraceptive care and an appreciation of the balance between exercising freedoms and infringing upon rights. Despite this, uninformed ideologues (who still believe, for example, that the Plan B pill is an abortifacient) have prevailed. Though these people may be in the minority, the problem lies in the fact that too many of them occupy influential positions in society. Yes, that includes the position of Supreme Court Justice. Sadly, the result has been a regression in equal rights for women and minorities.

In March, I attended the #NotMyBossBusiness rally in front of the Supreme Court when SCOTUS was hearing arguments in the Conestoga Wood v. Sebelius and Sebelius v. Hobby Lobby cases. I rallied in the snow with activists from Planned Parenthood, NOW, and more, to make it clear that we will not be passive as companies attempt to take away autonomy over our bodies. A smaller but vocal group of protesters rallied in opposition, touting posters of bloody fetuses and “God’s law is the only law” signs. These are the people celebrating the Supreme Court decision right now thanks to Justices Alito, Thomas, Kennedy, Scalia, and Roberts. Especially in 2014 that is something we should all be ashamed of.

#YesAllWomen Provide Rude Awakening and Hopeful Response

This post originally appeared on June 2, 2014 written by Aisha Springer.

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The #YesAllWomen hashtag started trending worldwide after Twitter user (who wishes that her information not be shared anymore) purveyed the tweet on May 24th in response to the Isla Vista shooter who killed six people and himself and recorded a video vowing revenge on women who had rejected him.

Read more from Gina Denny about the meaning of #YesAllWomen HERE.

Women in the US and around the world reacted not with shock, but with nods of familiarity to the misogynistic language and motivations. They shared their experiences of harassment and violence inflicted by men who felt entitled to their bodies, and many men tweeted with surprise or disbelief that sexism was this widespread or deadly.

The scale and speed with which #YesAllWomen spread – 451K tweets in just the first 24 hours and over two million tweets total – highlights the reality that misogyny is alive and well and all women have experienced some form of this in their lives.

Because "I have a boyfriend" is more effective than "no", due to the fact that they respect another mans claim over us #YesAllWomen

— Dannella Muñoz (@MunozDannella) May 28, 2014

#YesAllWomen inspired thoughtful articles on platforms such as Slate, The Daily Beast, and The Guardian and has now spun off into #AllMenCan. It’s encouraging to see men proudly express enlightened views and show that men can be a part of the solution rather than ignoring and perpetuating the problem.

#AllMenCan be masculine without misogyny, chivalrous without demeaning, and feminists without fear. Equality benefits us all.

— Benjamin Curtis (@Clearcoat_Ben) May 29, 2014

This is a refreshing dialogue in a culture where it’s not unusual to be met with fervent defense of patriarchal views. These attitudes permeate daily life to such an extent that they don’t actually register as abnormal. Misogyny may pop up within a close relationship, a one-time interaction with a stranger, or a soundbite on the news.

Not too long ago, a friend told me about his uncle’s pattern of “hitting on” women at every family get-together. Using that seemingly harmless phrase, he explained how his uncle requested a one-night stand, which was apparently the tamest of the comments. He told the story with a chuckle, surely expecting a similar response that I didn’t deliver. He went on to say that the daughter of the harassed woman told his uncle to, “get, get” like he was a dog. According to him, that was disrespectful.

In one brief anecdote, this man unwittingly summed up male privilege and entitlement. Men have the privilege of not having to consider how it feels for the target of their harassment because the victim is usually a woman. Women are made to believe or simply accept that this is a normal part of male-female interactions and we have no legitimate reason to object.

When you consider this mindset, it’s no wonder that some men become offended or even violent when women deny their advances. Resistance is a challenge to their sense of entitlement. Women are called “bitchy”, “rude”, “uptight” or “angry black woman”; a desperate but sadly effective attempt to reclaim power.

The UCSB shooting is an extreme reminder that men from all walks of life and all levels of mental stability can be deeply influenced by misogynistic culture – and its consequences can be fatal. If we want to raise the standards for what it means to be a man, it’s vital that men do their part. Making excuses should be seen as a belief in a child-like inability to exercise self-control and good judgment and an insult to all men.

#AllMenCan provides hope that men can do better, but only if we stop making excuses for those who believe women owe them attention simply because of their gender.

So proud of all the men who participated in #AllMenCan. http://t.co/gwhq3eLPAgpic.twitter.com/YJ9O9Ho3Ue

— Elizabeth Plank (@feministabulous) May 29, 2014